House Hunters

House hunting is so much fun...for the past 6 years I've missed it!!! But I also forgot how incredibly exhausting it becomes...especially for someone like me who checks CL every hour to make sure I don't miss anything! My list of sites to check 80x daily is a page long!

And then you have a ray of hope, one that makes up for all the searching, driving, scoping, calling...today we found THE perfect perfect perfect rental. 

SO perfect (did I mention how perfect?) 

Location: a half block from the yoga shala...the YOGA SHALA! Can you picture it?! A couple blocks from the loveliest park in Spokane, within walking distance to our favorite bakery and great restaurants. A few blocks from a friend of mine who has a babe the same age as Hudson. And TERRIFIC school district!

And the house...oh, the house. Hardwood floors throughout, gorgeous fireplace, new kitchen, brand new appliances, an upstairs loft that looks exactly like the set of Moonrise Kingdom-perfect for Hudson's playroom, an art-deco-tiled bathroom, and a man cave with new carpet in the fully finished basement. I'm talkin GOR-GEOUS. 

Anddd....we are too late. We missed it by ONE day. Apparently someone turned in an application for it TODAY. I have been sick ever since. Like I'm pretty sure I could vomit, sinking feeling, exhausted sick.

So I did what any recently devastated emotional eater would do and made a batch of frosted brownies, bought myself a bouquet of orange tulips...and blogged about my sob story.

Here's hoping the applicant suddenly backs out or doesn't meet the qualifications. My fingers have never been more crossed!

My Little Muse

What did I EVER take pictures of before becoming a mama? Seriously.

Whatever it was, wasn't as fun as this...

Music to Love By

I should probably definitely add "music" to the list of descriptive words for this completely sporadic blog of mine. 

In fact, it ought to be second after "bebe". Or tied with "poetry" and "etc"...

I also ought to remove "travel" from the list until we do any...hard to do nowadays with kiddos that require pack n'plays, car seats, jogging strollers, lullaby machines, 3 blankies, etc.

Anyways...onto my latest music obsession...jazzy-love songs. And not just love songs...JAZZY LOVE songs. Croon-y, sugary, sweet, let's love each other as if we loved each other, romance songs. Blame it on Valentine's day...fuzzy&warm love songs fill the remaining winter months so nicely after all the buttery&nostalgic Christmas music. 

I've basically had Sondre Lerche's Duper Sessions on repeat 24/7 since New Years. 

A few of my fave light-the-candles-slow-dance-X's&O's-hearts-everywhere-tracks to love by...

Chet Baker . I Get Along Without You Very Well

Sondre Lerche . You Sure Look Swell

Melody Gardot . If the Stars Were Mine

Madeleine Peyroux . Dance Me to the End of Love

Nat King Cole . I'm In the Mood for Love

Billie Holiday . Night and Day

Dinah Shore . Stardust

 Al Bowlly . It's All Forgotten Now



What are you listening to post-Christmas?

A Year from Now

 I know, everyone and their dog have pinned this, but I love it nonetheless. 

Food for thought...and I've been thinkin of it on the daily.

What do you wish you'd started a year ago?  

If that list is a mile long-and full of lots of silly things like, 'read all the classics' & 'learn everything there is to know about jazz and orchids', like mine, it may be better to ask what you would do if you had only one year left? 

Just one.

   When my dad found out he had only 6 weeks left of life, priorities shifted and made themselves painfully clear, as I suppose they would to any of us. That day he was forced, along with the rest of his family for a while, to focus on the absolute essentials.

For my dad, relationships with the people he loved suddenly became vital. This man, who was not present on my wedding day, began calling me once or twice daily to tell me how much he loved me, to call me "gorgeous", to tell me how proud I made him. Apologizing for past hurts and giving his heart completely to those he hadn't for so long became a must. 'I'll do it later' wasn't an option anymore; there was no longer a later. 

In those few weeks he started, and in many ways completed, so many of the really important things he'd been meaning to get around to for years but was too afraid to start.

I think of my dad when I read the quote above and I'd write this so much better for his sake if I could.

So...what's on your "tomorrow list" and what's still there after you boil it down?

My essentials? Here's a couple...

Change location. Getting out of this neighborhood has been high on my list of to-do's for abouuuuut 6 years now (from the day we moved in). I need safe. I need walkable. I need community. I have none of that presently, and I honestly feel like a prisoner in my home. In the last month there was a gang related drive-by and a man was stabbed 18 times walking to Walgreens only blocks from my home. We are making this change THIS YEAR; our health and happiness depend on it.

Live fully in the moment. I feel like my days are disappearing at the speed of light because I am always worried about what's next. I fail to appreciate the present moment with my son...rocking him to sleep, smelling his hair, holding his hand, cradling him in my arms...being 100% present in that moment because I'm always worrying about what's coming. What should I cook for lunch? What activity should we do after lunch? What time should he nap? What should we do after nap? etc...

I also need to eliminate the words SUPPOSED TO from my vocab...especially when it comes to mothering. When it comes to Hudson I find that I am constantly asking: is this what we're supposed to do? I'm a girl who wants black and white and an owners manual and performance evaluations...but this is absurd!

I need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and whether or not I'm doing it RIGHT. I love my son with my whole heart, I give him my very best, and make each decision with his best interests in mind.

Being able to do that for the.most.incredible little person is one thing I'm glad I didn't wait another year to do!

xo

Resignation

Resignation

by J.D. McClatchy

Here the oak and silver-breasted birches
Stand in their sweet familiarity
While underground, as in a black mirror,
They have concealed their tangled grievances,
Identical to the branching calm above
But there ensnared, each with the others' hold
On what gives life to which is brutal enough.
Still, in the air, none tries to keep company
Or change its fortune. They seem to lean
On the light, unconcerned with what the world
Makes of their decencies, and will not show
A jealous purchase on their length of days.
To never having been loved as they wanted
Or deserved, to anyone's sudden infatuation
Gouged into their sides, to all they are forced
To shelter and to hide, they have resigned themselves. 

{here}

Child

Your clear eye is the one absolutely beautiful thing.
I want to fill it with color and ducks,
The zoo of the new
Whose name you meditate --
April snowdrop, Indian pipe,
Little

Stalk without wrinkle,
Pool in which images
Should be grand and classical ...

 

~Sylvia Plath

Cabin Fever Remedies via Instagram

Trying our best to beat cabin fever this week...is it spring yet?

Mobius' mud table.

Making animal sounds...panting like a dog.

Snowy Duncan Gardens

Got a much needed dose of green at the Manito Conservatory.

In awe. I told him we were in the jungle with the monkeys.

Green/warmth/life

Color/patina/pattern

Snowy pines out/ mossy orchids in

Banana snack date at Rockwood Bakery

Cozy inside