Lately

Lately...

We've settled into a days-merging-into-each-other-post-winter bliss. Park visiting, shorts wearing, flower sniffing, down-hill-running bliss.

We start mommy group tomorrow (one of my 34 marked off the list). 

We are in the beginning stages of seriously planning our move back to "The City of Trees" (laughable, because Spokane has at least one million more trees than Boise-or so it seems) which will perhaps occur as soon as late summer/early fall. It was silly for me to doubt the need for us to go home...but I'm sentimental and clingy, and for whatever reason the idea of permanently leaving this city has me feeling like a bit of an emotional wreck. Ostensibly I came here to study design, but in this city I've learned more about myself than floor-plans hands down...my heart, my values, my capabilities, my hard as a rock strengths, my down on my knees darkest day weaknesses. In this city I've become my own rock. I've been hardened and then softened...This city hosted the best and worst (and best again) days OF MY LIFE. This temporary home that I never ever would have believed I'd become so attached to saw me achieve what I doubted I ever could; saw me work harder and with more passion than I had ever before. Lately I see the past 7 years flashing before my eyes and it all overwhelms me with emotion. *Cue Ray LaMontagne's Jolene which has been on repeat for the past week (no idea why-perhaps the depth of feeling I love so in his voice and the mention of Spokane in the lyrics) and tissues.

But that's not what you came here to read...bring on the pictures of the cutie cute toddler picking dandelions!

Hudson lately...

can say "yellow"

requests Miss Spider's Tea Party all day

Loves running down hills

Would stay all day in the green swing at Manito if I let him

Climbs in his stroller all day wanting to go for a walk

Randomly runs up and tightly hugs my legs throughout the day *heart melts

Wouldn't give the horchata back to dad

Fave book of the moment

Daddy airplane

Running down the hills

Lunch out. Sun-kissed hair.

On our after dinner walk-a little swinging before bed

Mother's Day and not excited to hold still for a picture

He LOVED driving dads work van

I showed him how to blow the dandelions which he interpreted as putting them in his mouth

Curated: Neil Krug

These capture this weeks vibe: saturated, vibrant, & hot-hot-hot. I can't choose a fave...via Neil Krug. 

Images via neilkrug.com

Thirty Four

 This month I turn the big 3-4.

I never make a fuss about my birthday, I don't even remember what I did for my b-day last year, or the year before, or the year before that...

However, as of late I'm on this BIG "self love" kick (more on this soonish) thanks to some really magnificent recent reads. Self-Love is so foreign to me; I feel I've practically been brought up to self-deprecate, confusing that with humility, but this birthday is not going ignored as per usual, there's a whole lotta love this year and I'm kind of making a deal about it.

And by "making a deal about it", I mean cake and flowers and iced coffee and a present or five, but more than that, I mean celebrating my entire 34th year. This year I am so thankful to be alive and I want this year to be the most memorable and special one yet by doing things (big and small and ridonc) that I've always wanted to do, some things that scare me, some things I'm pissing my pants excited to do, and mostly I want to appreciate the opportunity I have to do them.

My Thirty Four of Thirty Four*
*not a bucket list, in no particular order, and I've intentionally left a few blank to fill in later

1. Take a belly dancing class
2. Spend an entire day in silence
3. Stay at a Bed and Breakfast
4. Go to a movie alone
5. (Finally) join a book club
6. Join or start a mommy group
7. Seriously take up hiking...I'm talkin' boots, cargo shorts, and baby hiking carrier
8. Establish a grown-up skin care regimen
9. Invest in quality makeup
10. Paint something with abandon
11. Write and illustrate a book for Hudson
12. Write a letter to the daughter I don't have (yet)
13. VOLUNTEER
14. Take a cooking class with Mr. B.
15. Get my first tattoo
16. Host a nighttime gypsy party
17. Cook an authentic Indian dish
18. Visit an energy/reiki healer
19. Meditate every day-even if it's only for 15 minutes
20. Wear red lipstick
21. Sell everything I own that I don't use
22. Write a letter to everyone I love telling them what I love about them
23. Go dancing (I haven't done this outside my kitchen in YEARS!)
24. Get a swedish massage
25. Do yoga at least once a week at a studio...look into an instructor program
26. Watch every movie Meryl Streep has ever appeared in
27. Go to the middle of nowhere and scream at the top of my lungs and/or throw a private temper tantrum
28. Take an actual vacation (one week minimum) UNPLUGGED
29. .
30. .
31. .
32. Top secret/semi-illegal artistic activity/but seriously harmless/pics to come if I get the balls to actually do this.
33. Mr. B's choice (learn to shoot a gun) 
34. Throw a big party with lots of fuss for birthday #35

And of course, blog about them all.

A Final Affection

A Final Affection

by Paul Zimmer

I love the accomplishments of trees,
How they try to restrain great storms
And pacify the very worms that eat them.
Even their deaths seem to be considered.
I fear for trees, loving them so much.
I am nervous about each scar on bark,
Each leaf that browns. I want to
Lie in their crotches and sigh,
Whisper of sun and rains to come.

Sometimes on summer evenings I step
Out of my house to look at trees
Propping darkness up to the silence.

When I die I want to slant up
Through those trunks so slowly
I will see each rib of bark, each whorl;
Up through the canopy, the subtle veins
And lobes touching me with final affection;
Then to hover above and look down
One last time on the rich upliftings,
The circle that loves the sun and moon,
To see at last what held the darkness up.