My New Life as a Working Mom

Well, hello!!! Long time! Four months to be exact...

and what a COMPLETELY LIFE CHANGING last few months we have had!!!

I've started this blog post about 8 times since August and I haven't been able to finish it because each time I start writing, my feelings on being a full time working mom after 2 years of being a SAHM change daily...maybe even hourly! Am I suddenly bi-polar? I SWEAR-in one draft of this post I said, "LIFE IS GOOD! In all realms!" In another I describe life now as being, "TOO DAMN HARD!"

And the confusing part is that both are true!!!

I have so many reasons to love being a working mom:

• I get to dress up every day and have a reason to take care of myself!
• I LOVE my job and I LOVE coming to work!
• Being away from my son makes me appreciate his presence SO much more-and it makes him appreciate me better as well. The time we spend together now is precious.
•  Hudson spends 3 days a week in preschool which has done wonders for his socialization skills-which honestly, had me worried. He is learning so much and he has FUN spending time playing with other kids! Most days Mr. Brady has to bribe him to leave school with a toy car or two...he usually doesn't want to leave.
• And I'm not gonna lie, I love getting a paycheck and not feeling so damn guilty when I stop at Starbucks every morning and buy Hudson a NEW pair of shoes. 

BUT then there's the hard part:

• There's never enough TIME! I have VERY limited time to do things for myself anymore-no more yoga during naptime, no more hour long daily walks (evident in the 10 pounds I've gained since August), I finally have extra cash for new clothes-but can't find the TIME to go shopping-oh the irony! And because I spend 45 hours away from my son each week, I feel guilty leaving him to do these things because I want to give him all of my free time. It's a realllll bummer at times and I am always wishing for a few more hours each day!
• My life is the most hurried it has been, EVER. The best example of this is the morning rush the three days a week H goes to preschool. Trying to get myself dressed, makeup applied, teeth brushed, breakfast and coffee prepped, AND getting a busy toddler dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed, lunch made, breakfast fed in the course of 30-45 minutes and out the door in time is a maddening, comical, stressful affair! Some mornings, H just wants to snuggle, wake up slowly, and begs me to read a book with him or "sit down" and watch Cars together...like the old days...and my heart breaks that I have to hurry him into shoes and run out the door. Luckily, my hours at work are a little flexible, and I tend to show up late those mornings so I can spend an extra 10-15 minutes trying my best to make him feel like the extra-special-loved-beyond-words boy that he is. After work I hurry home to make dinner in time, then it's an hour of play time, bath, and bed. I feel like the last few months have slipped away so quickly and the pace of our lives have sped up tenfold at least.
• Keeping up on household management, shopping, cleaning, laundry...well lets just say I NEED A MAID! I tend to spend my days off getting chores done as quickly as I can so I can spend the majority of my time with Hudson. 
• I constantly worry about finding the right balance of time Hudson spends at school vs. with me. Even though he always says "SURE!" when I ask if he wants to go to school, he has also shown signs of not getting enough mama time. He is now clingy to the MAX when we are at home-which probably has a lot to do with ALL the changes we have gone through in such a short time-but I also know it's because he misses spending every second of the day with me as much as I miss spending it with him. I think my ideal work week would be 32 hours/week max-and I'm working on making that happen.

I've decided the best way to make this lifestyle work for me and my family is to find the right balance between work/school and family. I've asked to cut my hours down to 30/week instead of 40 so I can spend more time with my boys. I've let the dirty dishes sit in the sink so I can take a bath and read a few chapters before bed. I'm planning on using my lunch hour to do a yoga class, go for a jog, get a manicure, or sit at a coffee shop...all the things I miss from my pre-career days!

Despite the difficulties of adjusting to our new crazy-busy lifestyle, moving home for this job is the best decision we've made all year-we are SO SO HAPPY to be HOME! It STILL feels too good to be true having both families 5 minutes away, being able to go on date nights with my hubby, being able to call up my best friends since high school (who are still the very best) to get a drink, being able to have dinner with my mom or breakfast with my in laws...AND this will be the first year since 2005 that we will be home for the holidays!!!!! My friends and family probably think I am crazy, because I am constantly telling them, "I've DREAMED about doing this with you for YEARS and I'm SO happy to finally be here with you!"

Yes, I have so much to be thankful for this year-I am pinching myself!
Hope your Thanksgiving is just as happy! xo