You officially made our family a family 15 days ago, Friday October 7th at 9:35 am. Whoa baby you were/are a tall one…just like your dad, measuring 22.5” long and weighing 8lb 4oz. Measurements aside, you were healthy and beautiful even when you were still covered in goo and placed on my chest. You wailed nice and loud as if to say, "there’s no place like placenta-aaah", and your dad cried. I thought for sure I would too (as I’ve bawled over every birthing video I’ve seen since becoming pregnant) but I didn’t until later that morning when I got to look you over in private-every perfect little part of you- I couldn’t believe I actually helped create you! I couldn’t believe I carried you inside me-what an absolute miracle! Ah-I felt like the size of my heart quadrupled- AT LEAST! I was so overcome with an insanely profound love (one people had attempted to describe to me-but I never got it till this point) GOOD, GOOD LOVE!
So little lovie, time flies when you’re ADAPTING to life outside the womb, and your padres to life with a little angel who needs constant TLC.
You love sleeping in your new carrier.
I love being able to get a bit of housework done.
How our lives have changed since you’ve arrived! A little then and now…
THEN: I showered and applied makeup daily.
NOW:-I can smell my own B.O. but am helpless to do anything about it...have YOU tried putting on deodorant with a newborn resting comfortably on your chest? And I tried putting on a little mascara before a doctor’s appointment with you in my arms=whoopsie daisy I’ll never attempt THAT again!
THEN: 4am meant I had at least 5 more hours to sleep in.
NOW: One of your most awake times is from 4am-6:30am. Mommy is now “liking” her friends facebook pics/updates at 2:15am.
THEN: Mommy ate what she wanted, when she wanted…runs to Taco Bell-no problem!
NOW: Did I eat breakfast??? I can’t even remember! My hands are so full that even if I had a quesadilla I wouldn’t be able to enjoy its warm cheesy meltiness until bebe fell asleep.
THEN: Sailor mouth!
NOW: MUCH cleaner mouth with only a few softly uttered curse words.
NOW: I am addicted to sniffing you-in longggg contented inhales, kissing your teeny toesies, slow dancing with you and Al Bowlly in the kitchen every morning, rubbing my cheek on your softest little head of hair, & admiring your baby rocker mullet...there is no "then" to this "now"...love it!
Oh, but I wouldn’t trade a sleep deprived minute of it. In fact, I am starting to enjoy being up when the sun rises. I have learned to really appreciate the once a week (instead of twice a day) trip to the Starbucks drive-thru. Showers feel heavenly these days. I’m proud of my new cloth diapering and diaper rash ointment application skills-one to add to the resume, no doubt. I’ve fallen in love again (after a 5 year television hiatus) with Matt Lauer and the Today Show! And I love that we are finding our way together…learning how to make things work in this place, with these people, at this time-and doing our very very best. The song that has been playing over and over in my mind for the past 2 weeks is “This thing is difficult”…but for the record I want to dedicate a new song to you, a lullaby (written by Thom Yorke for his son) because despite the difficulties, you have sailed us to the moon sweet babe.
Love always, Mom