Laura Marling

Combine the smokey vocals of Norah Jones, poetic lyrics of Bob Dylan+Joni Mitchell and the bite of Fiona Apple and you have Laura Marling, the latest artist I'll be binge listening to the next time I'm in need of that perfect melancholy song fix.

Particular fave: Love Caster. It's basically magic, people, but I love all 4 songs following...

Father's Day

As a child, I never knew what it was to have a supportive, hands-on, loving dad.

Mine wasn't around for most of my childhood. I don't harbor any bad feelings towards him for it-in fact, I think it was better that way. He was busy dealing with his own issues and luckily my mom gave us LOVE enough that we didn't feel like we were missing out...most of the time.

I do remember feeling jealous of my friends who had great relationships with their dads. I wanted that for myself, but I mostly wanted it for my brother. It made me sad to know that he was growing up without a father figure-someone to teach him how to throw a ball and how to fish...but my brother grew up surrounded by women, which might explain why his house is neat and decorated and he never got into sports.

We always want better for our own babes, and growing up I dreamed about my future family (the one I'd have whilst working as a decorator, wearing J. Crew suits in the heart of Seattle) The man I would marry and start a family with would be responsible, loving, supportive, funny, kind, patient, inspiring, playful and most of all hands-on.

I totally nailed it with Mister B. (who has been begging me for kiddos for at least 10 years). From day one, this man has spoiled Hudson with such crazy LOVE that this little boy will never wonder if his father loves him or is proud of him. Mister B. is the definition of "amazing father" in my book. Besides the list of criteria above he is protective, proud, helpful, tender.

Today I'm thankful for this man! Happy Father's Day indeed!

Blog the Obscure

Well hello there my obscure little blog, long time.
I feel I owe you an explanation as to why I've neglected you for an entire month...
here are my top 3 reasons:

1. This is how I've felt over the last few weeks in regards to having motivation and/or overall energy to do anything above and beyond meeting the basic needs of my son (and that's even iffy) and sometimes myself and Mr. B.

Lately, my M.O. has been eating carbs all day in my bathrobe, napping, listening to Daft Punk and electronica on repeat, and occasionally walking barefoot through the rose garden. This is far from my ush...I normally don't know how to relax but I admit I kindof-almost-sorta like it (although my bigger/better belly pooch disagrees).

2. It's probably best I conserved all that energy, I needed it to prep for 2 interviews, find my lost portfolio-buried in the depths of junk we don't need or use piled in the basement, and deal with the emotional roller coaster ride I've been on the last week.

A week ago the impossible happened: I was offered an interior design position in Spokane. I know, I know, I've been talking so much about moving to Boise, but I applied and interviewed for some much needed practice with no expectation of actually getting it. I was so shocked/excited when I was actually offered the job that I accepted and ordered a cosmic brownie (which I would have anyway-who are we kidding) to celebrate @ The Elk.

The reality settled in a few days later as I met with childcare providers for H...full time childcare providers. As I drove away from one provider's house I imagined the horror of dropping him off with a stranger for a full day away from me and bawled my eyes out the rest of the night. As exciting as designing kitchens and baths was (and if I didn't have a kiddo I would have done it hands down) this decision didn't feel right...it made me anxious, afraid, and uncomfortable...and ultimately it wasn't what I wanted most-to get home.

 

Don't cry for me argentina, since then, I've had a successful phone interview for THE PERFECT entry level design position in Boise and am scheduled for a second interview next week. I'm hopeful for, and most of all, extremely at peace with this prospect. Also very excited to take Hudson daily to spend time with his Granny and my long lost BFF Miss Allyson at the preschool he will attend in Boise.

3. My poor babe has been sick. For the first time in his life, Hudson was really sick. 102 fever, vomit (all over me-fun times), clingy, fussy, can't sleep, SICK! He's on the mend now, but for a few days we did nothing but snuggle on the couch watching Sesame Street and Alice in Wonderland. It was a total bummer...I hate not being able to take away my little one's pain! 

In conclusion: I still love you blog, even if you are mediocre and read by very few one.

Here's hoping for many more completely random posts to come.

Lately

Lately...

We've settled into a days-merging-into-each-other-post-winter bliss. Park visiting, shorts wearing, flower sniffing, down-hill-running bliss.

We start mommy group tomorrow (one of my 34 marked off the list). 

We are in the beginning stages of seriously planning our move back to "The City of Trees" (laughable, because Spokane has at least one million more trees than Boise-or so it seems) which will perhaps occur as soon as late summer/early fall. It was silly for me to doubt the need for us to go home...but I'm sentimental and clingy, and for whatever reason the idea of permanently leaving this city has me feeling like a bit of an emotional wreck. Ostensibly I came here to study design, but in this city I've learned more about myself than floor-plans hands down...my heart, my values, my capabilities, my hard as a rock strengths, my down on my knees darkest day weaknesses. In this city I've become my own rock. I've been hardened and then softened...This city hosted the best and worst (and best again) days OF MY LIFE. This temporary home that I never ever would have believed I'd become so attached to saw me achieve what I doubted I ever could; saw me work harder and with more passion than I had ever before. Lately I see the past 7 years flashing before my eyes and it all overwhelms me with emotion. *Cue Ray LaMontagne's Jolene which has been on repeat for the past week (no idea why-perhaps the depth of feeling I love so in his voice and the mention of Spokane in the lyrics) and tissues.

But that's not what you came here to read...bring on the pictures of the cutie cute toddler picking dandelions!

Hudson lately...

can say "yellow"

requests Miss Spider's Tea Party all day

Loves running down hills

Would stay all day in the green swing at Manito if I let him

Climbs in his stroller all day wanting to go for a walk

Randomly runs up and tightly hugs my legs throughout the day *heart melts

Wouldn't give the horchata back to dad

Fave book of the moment

Daddy airplane

Running down the hills

Lunch out. Sun-kissed hair.

On our after dinner walk-a little swinging before bed

Mother's Day and not excited to hold still for a picture

He LOVED driving dads work van

I showed him how to blow the dandelions which he interpreted as putting them in his mouth

Curated: Neil Krug

These capture this weeks vibe: saturated, vibrant, & hot-hot-hot. I can't choose a fave...via Neil Krug. 

Images via neilkrug.com

Thirty Four

 This month I turn the big 3-4.

I never make a fuss about my birthday, I don't even remember what I did for my b-day last year, or the year before, or the year before that...

However, as of late I'm on this BIG "self love" kick (more on this soonish) thanks to some really magnificent recent reads. Self-Love is so foreign to me; I feel I've practically been brought up to self-deprecate, confusing that with humility, but this birthday is not going ignored as per usual, there's a whole lotta love this year and I'm kind of making a deal about it.

And by "making a deal about it", I mean cake and flowers and iced coffee and a present or five, but more than that, I mean celebrating my entire 34th year. This year I am so thankful to be alive and I want this year to be the most memorable and special one yet by doing things (big and small and ridonc) that I've always wanted to do, some things that scare me, some things I'm pissing my pants excited to do, and mostly I want to appreciate the opportunity I have to do them.

My Thirty Four of Thirty Four*
*not a bucket list, in no particular order, and I've intentionally left a few blank to fill in later

1. Take a belly dancing class
2. Spend an entire day in silence
3. Stay at a Bed and Breakfast
4. Go to a movie alone
5. (Finally) join a book club
6. Join or start a mommy group
7. Seriously take up hiking...I'm talkin' boots, cargo shorts, and baby hiking carrier
8. Establish a grown-up skin care regimen
9. Invest in quality makeup
10. Paint something with abandon
11. Write and illustrate a book for Hudson
12. Write a letter to the daughter I don't have (yet)
13. VOLUNTEER
14. Take a cooking class with Mr. B.
15. Get my first tattoo
16. Host a nighttime gypsy party
17. Cook an authentic Indian dish
18. Visit an energy/reiki healer
19. Meditate every day-even if it's only for 15 minutes
20. Wear red lipstick
21. Sell everything I own that I don't use
22. Write a letter to everyone I love telling them what I love about them
23. Go dancing (I haven't done this outside my kitchen in YEARS!)
24. Get a swedish massage
25. Do yoga at least once a week at a studio...look into an instructor program
26. Watch every movie Meryl Streep has ever appeared in
27. Go to the middle of nowhere and scream at the top of my lungs and/or throw a private temper tantrum
28. Take an actual vacation (one week minimum) UNPLUGGED
29. .
30. .
31. .
32. Top secret/semi-illegal artistic activity/but seriously harmless/pics to come if I get the balls to actually do this.
33. Mr. B's choice (learn to shoot a gun) 
34. Throw a big party with lots of fuss for birthday #35

And of course, blog about them all.

A Final Affection

A Final Affection

by Paul Zimmer

I love the accomplishments of trees,
How they try to restrain great storms
And pacify the very worms that eat them.
Even their deaths seem to be considered.
I fear for trees, loving them so much.
I am nervous about each scar on bark,
Each leaf that browns. I want to
Lie in their crotches and sigh,
Whisper of sun and rains to come.

Sometimes on summer evenings I step
Out of my house to look at trees
Propping darkness up to the silence.

When I die I want to slant up
Through those trunks so slowly
I will see each rib of bark, each whorl;
Up through the canopy, the subtle veins
And lobes touching me with final affection;
Then to hover above and look down
One last time on the rich upliftings,
The circle that loves the sun and moon,
To see at last what held the darkness up.